Thesis: The day I had there was amazing; all the attractions were good, but my favorites were the IMAX Theater,, the dinosaurs, and the butterflies.
Body Paragraph:
My second grade class lined up single file at the door to the Natural Science Museum anxious for the day that awaits us. We slowly began to enter the museum due to the heavy traffic at the entrance due to the ticket lines. The second I entered the museum, sounds of happy children bounced of the enormous walls to the point where I was not able to speak comfortably to the person ahead of me. The sound felt like I was swimming underwater, just me and the pool water. Once we got out tickets, we headed to the closest attraction; the IMAX theater. I had never been to a movie theater before the IMAX so movie etiquette was new to me. I sat down in a plushy chair, it felt like swimming in a mountain of pillows. When the movie started, I was overwhelmed by the sound the speakers produced, it was more tremendous than the sound produced from the walls outside of the theater. I do not really remember much of the movie except for the desert. The video quality made it so that I was actually there. You could practically feel the heat of the day. The movie ended and we left to see the dinosuars.
I've never been this place before, but now that I read your essay about this museum I thought I should visit there sometime to see many attractions you've described. I'm surprised that you still remember everything even if it was many years ago that you visited that place! Maybe that's because that place left you with strong impression. I really think I should visit that place! And I think your essay is very well organized.
ReplyDeleteI have never been to the Museum of Natural Science. After reading the paragraph, it rose my interest of wanting to go see for myself. Your similes were very descriptive, but be careful you had some typos.
ReplyDeleteI thought this paragraph was really cute how you were reliving past experiences you had as a kid. The essay was really descriptive and creative when you used different similies and metaphors to explain the different things you saw and felt. All in all it was a good read, and you did a great job.
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